“THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR (Part 2 of 3)”

REVIEW OF PART ONE

In the last posting I shared how we can often make wrong judgments when we only look at the outward appearance of things, and these judgments are often made against God.  I invited you to join with me and set aside some time to ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your mind if you have “wrongly judged” the Lord as a result of situations or circumstances that you have experienced.  If you have not read the previous posting in this series (part one), I strongly encourage you to do so before proceeding.  It will make this current posting more meaningful.  In the last posting I also mentioned that I would share some personal things concerning what the Lord has revealed to me in this area.  Actually, the Lord brought up two significant experiences in my life even while I was in the process of writing the last posting, and He went deeper into my heart concerning these in this past week.  I share this part of my life here to help you to see how we can “wrongly judge” the Father’s heart as a result of our past experiences.

A MIRACLE CONCEPTION

In 1990, after 17 years of marriage and the inability for us to have children, I was supernaturally led by the Lord to pray with Denise one Saturday night for a child. We had given up years earlier and had resigned ourselves to being a family of just the two of us. We were lead to pray Hannah's prayer (1 Sam. 1:1-20), and felt that if we ever had a son, we were to name him Samuel--"because I asked the Lord for him."  That very night we conceived our only child, who was due at Christmas. The doctor did an ultrasound at 7 1/2 weeks and reassured us that the baby was very healthy.  Five weeks later, Denise was in the emergency room, miscarrying the only child we are certain that we have ever had.  What was truly a “miracle conception”—both in the manner in which we believe we heard the Lord and how it occurred—turned into a subsequent time of confusion and grief.

“THE BLESSING HAS NOT PASSED YOU BY”

One year later, after re-starting medical infertility treatment with no success, we took a three-week trip to Hawaii to “sort things out” and to try to heal.  We were both still working as college professors and administrators in Texas during this period.  The day after we returned from this trip, we received a call from a lady who said that as she was coming into our city, the Lord gave her a prophetic word for us.  She said, “You believe that a blessing has passed you by, but the Lord said that this is not true, and you will have a child.”  We were quite undone, to say the least, as we had never met this lady before and thus she knew nothing of our situation.

ANOTHER DEVASTATING LOSS

Over the course of the past 12 years we have been blessed by the Lord in many ways.  We were called to leave our secular employment in 1992 and to return to school to enter into full-time ministry.  We were called to Georgia, and the Lord brought forth in 1995  The Father’s Heart, a counseling and equipping ministry, a church plant in 1997 (no longer operating), and He has allowed us to help many people over these years.  However, we also experienced various losses over this period, including the lack of fulfillment of this word received over 12 years ago, as this “child of promise” still has not come forth.  (When I speak of this “word,” I am referring to that which we received directly from the Lord prior to conception and then was reinforced prophetically one year later).  Those of you who are more familiar with us and our ministry are also aware of another very difficult loss we incurred in April of 2002.  Lassie, our 10-year-old Shetland Sheepdog, suddenly became ill and after two surgeries and a three-week hospitalization, she died.  She had become like a child to us over these years, and this loss was devastating, particularly in light of our battle concerning the inability to have children.  In addition, we had both felt very strongly that the Lord was going to heal her, through things that He shared with us, and we stood, believing in faith for this to occur.

WRONGLY JUDGING HIS HEART—DEEP WITHIN MY HEART

As I mentioned in part one, the Lord takes us through various seasons in our lives, just as He did with David, from shepherd boy to King.  We, like many of you, have walked through these seasons, yet they are unique for each of us.  Over the last number of years I have talked with the Lord many times about the issue of our “child of promise,” as well as other difficult things that have come our way.  I have acknowledged my anger to Him and have dealt with wrong judgments or accusations about Him and His character.  He has met me in many of those times and in those times there has been a renewing of my relationship with Him.  Since our loss in April of last year, I have again had to spend much time working on reconciling (or “wrestling” with) the issue of facing unfulfilled dreams—and continued losses—with the knowledge that I am a child of a Father (God) who loves me beyond measure and only desires the very best for me.  I was unaware until just within the past couple of weeks that He wanted to go deeper into my heart and show me that I still had some unresolved issues with Him.  Sometimes when losses accumulate—especially significant ones—we unknowingly bury issues deep in our hearts, and there are “sovereign times” when the Lord reveals these to us.  Why?  So we can release these lies, wrong judgments and the pain associated with it all. When this occurs at deeper levels, it allows our hearts to once again know and feel the “true heart” of the Father and to walk more closely with Him.

MORE TO COME

If you have taken me up on my invitation from part one and the Holy Spirit has begun to share some areas in your heart that He wants to deal with—particularly where you have wrongly judged the heart of God the Father, felt abandoned by Him, or couldn’t make sense of what He is doing in your life—let Him continue that work this next week.  Since this writing is already quite lengthy, I will wait and share more with you next time about the struggle, and try to offer a few suggestions as you work through it.  Keep in mind--the Lord is much more “process-oriented” than “product-oriented!”  We tend to be the opposite.  “Heart work” is often “hard work,” and must follow the Lord’s agenda—not our own!  Pray for His continued grace!

From the Father’s Heart,

Jerry Basel