If you want to forgive, love, and accept others, then you must be willing to forgive, love, and accept yourself. Recently, a young woman we were counseling wrote a letter of acceptance to her younger self—a little girl who was rejected by her parents and sexually abused by her brother. Maybe after you read her letter, you can ask the Father if there are any parts of yourself that you are not loving. Maybe it's time for all the children inside to come home and be one.
Dear little me,
As hard as I’ve tried, I can’t remember you. I look at photo albums and they paint a picture of you—of that sweet little face. I am now a mother and when I see those pictures I want to hold you. I want to know what your laughter sounds like. In all the hurt, were you able to find a moment of joy to be able to laugh?
As a mother I can’t help but wonder why your mommy and daddy didn’t pick you up and hold you and love you. I want you to know it wasn’t your fault. It’s not your fault that they didn’t take the time to play with you and see a smile on your face.
I’m sorry that your daddy didn’t protect you and make you feel safe and loved. I’m sorry that the only “love” you remember feeling as a child was the sexual touch from your brother that violated your very soul as you pretended to sleep. You had no clue what was happening or what to do. I’m sorry that when you finally got the courage to tell someone, your words and your feelings were invalidated and ignored. Your spirit and soul were sacrificed when your mother chose to protect your brother. I’m sorry that you were hurt. What he did to you was not okay, and IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I blamed you for what happened—Why didn’t you say “no” or fight back sooner? I realize now how much I hated you (me). I hope that you will forgive me. I want a second chance. I want to give you a safe home. It’s time for us to stop walking in fear.
We have an amazing Father and he has so much love for us. He was there when you were hurting and crying. He cried for you, he hurt for you. He loves you no matter what. He wants to meet our every need. He wants to heal our hurt and he is capable. Will you walk this journey with me? I know that trusting is hard, but Father God is loving and he will be very gentle with us. He protected us with defense mechanisms, but we can’t use them anymore. They hurt us now. So let’s break the vows that have been keeping us from enjoying life. Let’s learn to trust, learn to cry, learn to feel love.
Please come home. You deserve love and care. You deserve to feel safe and happy. You deserve to feel the love that your mom and dad didn’t give you. You do belong, you will live life to it’s fullest, and you will know who the “real” you is. For the first time in a long time I am excited for a beautiful journey, me and you! We are going to laugh and giggle and learn to love. How amazing will it be to feel love? Our God has a plan, a purpose for us. We are necessary, we are needed, and we are loved. God says that we are beautiful! We are amazing! We are his precious child--his daughter!
It’s our time to shine, so let’s shine really bright!
I love you!
(Letter used with permission)