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The Story Behind "The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself"

Our book, The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself, is about the heart—your heart and ours. From the very beginning of our counseling ministry, God made it clear that the heart was to be central in everything we did. As I (Jerry) went through an intense, two-year period of emotional healing many years ago, I became aware that there were many things about the heart—my heart and God’s heart—that I didn’t understand. During this period, I became very aware of how my heart had been affected by childhood wounding, and I came to understand that God had a plan to restore and heal my heart.​​

Denise and I were university professors at the time, and God began to share that the healing of my heart would also involve a significant change in my personal calling and destiny. Walking into a church service one Sunday, I could “see” and feel the emotional condition of those around me. Although the majority of the people looked fine and together on the outside, I sensed that many were really hurting on the inside. They were each wearing masks that covered their true conditions, and I began to feel how much pain Father God felt over the broken hearts of his children. As time went on, God made it clear to Denise and me that we were to leave our roles as university professors and administrators and follow his path to be agents of his healing to others.

Throughout the Scriptures, when God placed his name on something, it was always important. Prior to starting our counseling ministry in 1995, we had no specific name in mind. Then God gave me the name “The Father’s Heart,” and I knew it was from him. Through the years we have returned over and over to a fundamental truth: the Father is passionately pursuing each one of our hearts, and he will do whatever is necessary to recover, heal, and restore those places in our hearts that have been wounded.

During the first few years of this ministry, I (Denise) had a dream, and in it God showed me his heart. It was unbelievably big, beyond anything I could imagine. It was clear in this dream that God’s heart had many expressions, and whenever God “turned his face” just a little, I could see another aspect of his heart. It was also clear that I could spend a lifetime pursuing his heart and never come to the end of the revelatory process. It seemed as though God wanted me to know two things: his heart expresses itself in a multitude of ways, and the desires of his heart for his people are endless.

From our experience working with hundreds of clients since 1995, we have seen that people’s inability to love themselves has been the most significant hindrance in their ability to love God and others and to walk in freedom and wholeness. Also, loving ourselves is biblical. Indeed, it is more than just biblical: it is an essential truth for Christians to know, experience, and live out. When we love ourselves, we experience greater peace and joy in life, and we become better able to fulfill the destiny that God places within us. These powerful truths are what inspired us to write this book.

TO SHARE THIS POST: We hope you will share this blog post on your own social media sites and direct those you know to our ministry and publication sites. Use the links at the bottom of the page to help us spread this healing message of "loving ourselves the way God does."

BOOKS AND MEDIA: We have just released our New 2018 Expanded Edition of "The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself," and it is currently being offered at a special introductory price. Check it out at or at

COUNSELING MINISTRY: If you or anyone you know is in need of finding a safe place for emotional and/or spiritual healing and restoration, please contact us at The Father's Heart Intensive Christian Counseling Ministry. Check out our web site at or email us directly at We are located in the North Georgia Mountains in a retreat-like setting and counsel individuals or couples for periods of two to five-days in length.

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