When we put up our guard, our shields, our fortified walls, then the energy to keep them in place has to come from somewhere. It takes emotional vigor to keep our heart safe behind our walls. We steel ourselves to keep our life support at acceptable levels. But we are in a battle—a battle for our very lives. (Excerpt from Loving God, Loving Myself) From behind our walls of protection, we may often feel "God connects with others, but not with me'" or "I know God's here, but I can't feel his love." You may find yourself being more defensive—blaming others or being harder on yourself, or emotionally insulating your heart, or projecting a "false self" to avoid rejection or hurt. The disturbing p

When we work with counselees, we ask them to reflect on different needs that we believe God says are important to our childhood development. We encourage them to ask themselves, "To what degree did my father and my mother meet my needs—to feel loved, to receive affection, to have a sense of belonging, to be protected, to be given a sense of freedom, to be given emotional guidance?" In these two short video clips, we ask you to ponder the question, "Did it matter if your parent never said the words, "I love you" when you were growing up?" Some are also quick to defend, minimize, or rationalize . . . "They did the best they could." But is that what God says? Here we share insight into the hear

Our book, The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself, is about the heart—your heart and ours. From the very beginning of our counseling ministry, God made it clear that the heart was to be central in everything we did. As I (Jerry) went through an intense, two-year period of emotional healing many years ago, I became aware that there were many things about the heart—my heart and God’s heart—that I didn’t understand. During this period, I became very aware of how my heart had been affected by childhood wounding, and I came to understand that God had a plan to restore and heal my heart.​​ Denise and I were university professors at the time, and God began to share that the healing of my heart would

We never like it when we are criticized, ignored, diss-ed, or rejected by others. We think it's wrong, offensive, unfair, or just plain mean. However, it is amazing how much there is in common when we consider our own self-image and self-talk. We may not be feeling much love from the one looking back at us in the mirror. In these two short video clips, we do a self-check challenge using the "Love is . . . " verses in 1 Corinthians 13. We also visit the negative messages we heard and then internalized when we were growing up. Check out how it impacts you today. Click on the videos below to view: TO SHARE THIS POST: We hope you will share this blog post on your own social media sites and dire

We are excited to announce that the New Expanded Edition of The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself is now available! We chose January 6th for our release date, because this is the day of "epiphany." As a Christian holiday, Epiphany is a celebration of the coming of the Magi as the first manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles. However, epiphany is also defined as "a moment in which one suddenly sees or understands something in a new or very clear way." That is our hope in releasing this new expanded edition--a hope for amazing breakthroughs, healing and freedom for your life. Join us for this next phase of the healing journey. The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself, New Expanded Edition NOW

Don't miss out on the special pre-release price for the New Expanded Edition of "The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself." Prior to its release this Saturday, January 6th, we are offering the book for the price of $10.99, which is $4 off of the retail price! Read what our editor has written wrote concerning The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself, and specifically this New Expanded Edition: Used both individually and in Bible studies, recovery groups, men’s and women’s retreats, and private counseling across the country, The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself invites you on a journey of God-discovery, self-discovery, and truth-discovery. This expanded edition sheds still greater light on some