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"How God Met Me in My Grief: A Personal Story"

It was the day after I (Denise) had lost our only child to a miscarriage, and I was in the first stages of grief: numb, questioning God, and not believing what had just happened. The phone rang and I answered it. On the other end was a woman, sobbing. After several minutes, I realized it was my oldest sister. She couldn’t even talk—she just wept. And I wept along with her.

What a gift from God her phone call was to me that day! At that moment, my sister was the heart of God to me. You see, God weeps when I weep. I love that about God. Psalm 56:8 NLT says, “You [God] keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”

After losing the baby, I also received other calls rejoicing that my child was in heaven. These people rejoiced while I was mourning. I felt wounded and more alone, misunderstood and judged by them. Later, I had to forgive them from the hurt and release them.

Many times after losing our baby, I asked God, Why? I was like a petulant child repeatedly demanding to know, “Why? Why? Why?” But I didn’t really want to understand; I wanted God to change my barrenness. Later in my healing, I took God off my hook and asked him to forgive me. He showed me that there was no explanation he could ever give me that would satisfy my “Why?” So I learned to live with the mystery of God, and along the way I learned acceptance.


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BOOKS AND MEDIA: "Loving God, Loving Myself" and our Expanded Edition of "The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself," are available at and

COUNSELING MINISTRY: If you or anyone you know is in need of finding a safe place for emotional and/or spiritual healing and restoration, please contact us at The Father's Heart Intensive Christian Counseling Ministry. Check out our web site at or email us directly at We are located in the North Georgia Mountains in a retreat-like setting and counsel individuals or couples for periods of two to five-days in length.

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