When we put up our guard, our shields, our fortified walls, then the energy to keep them in place has to come from somewhere. It takes emotional vigor to keep our heart safe behind our walls. We steel ourselves to keep our life support at acceptable levels. But we are in a battle—a battle for our very lives. (Excerpt from Loving God, Loving Myself)
From behind our walls of protection, we may often feel "God connects with others, but not with me'" or "I know God's here, but I can't feel his love." You may find yourself being more defensive—blaming others or being harder on yourself, or emotionally insulating your heart, or projecting a "false self" to avoid rejection or hurt. The disturbing part about walls is that they do not just go away by growing up or finding your soul mate or getting a great job. The walls were erected a long time ago when you needed to protect yourself from the pain, fear, loss, or loneliness that is still stuffed down inside. At one time the walls were a help to you, but unfortunately the shields will no longer work in your favor as an adult.
In these two short video clips, we ask the questions, "How do I climb over my loved one's wall of shame?" and "How do I break down my own defensive mechanisms?" Both require the same response from the person behind the shield—Surrender. (No more power to the shields).
Click on the videos below to view:
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